White Rose support group
Your loss is unique and so is the pain you experience. With early pregnancy loss, stillbirth or newborn death come feelings of helplessness, shock, numbness, and often low self-esteem and guilt.
Grief is a difficult and very personal journey. Although losses occur every year, yours is individual to you and to your circumstances. It's important to make an effort to not compare your feelings of loss to the experiences of others.
Families who experience the death of a baby during pregnancy or shortly after birth grieve for their baby and the loss of a lifetime with their child.
Letting yourself grieve
Grief is a normal process that continues far beyond the loss of your baby. Recognize that while multiple family members are grieving the same loss, no two individuals will grieve the same. Respect the differences in each other as you journey toward healing.
You may wonder if you are grieving "normally." There is no normal way to grieve. However, if you have concerns about how you are doing, there are many resources available, including the White Rose coordinator, chaplain, social worker, licensed professional counselors, physicians and support groups, to name a few.
How others respond
After your loss, people may not know how to act around you. They may be fearful of saying something to upset you. Others may say things with good intent that end up hurting you. It helps to listen to the kindness they meant to share.
You may need to tell friends and family that it is OK for them to cry and it's OK to say your baby's name and talk about him or her like any other child. You can tell them you will not feel hurt when they talk about your baby. Instead, they are bringing honor to you and the child you lost by talking about them.
Helping you reach a new normal
Most often, parents wonder, "When will I be normal again?" The death of a baby is not something you simply get over. With time and the support of others, you will find a new normal. You and your family will move forward, and you may someday welcome a new joy into your life, but you will forever hold in your heart the little one you lost—and that's perfectly OK.
Support and resources
We hope the available materials will help you through this difficult time. We also understand cultural beliefs can vary. Please use this information in a way that fits with your beliefs and feels comfortable to you. Most import we are here for you. Feel free to reach out to us at any time.